I cut myself. First time in months.
Struggling to function.
Shit.
I feel weak. I feel like dying, and crying,
What is keeping me here? I'm not even sure...
Perhaps some hope, but I'm not hearing what
I need to hear. I'm not getting what I need.
I need time to stop, just for moment, just so I
can take a breather. I need to sleep without drugs.
I need closure for Parker, and you.
I need you. Which is a problem.
"I fall in love far too quickly, I never want you to forget me,
When you're gone... will you call? Will you write?"
About Me
- carry me away,
- I'm a hater, a lover, a wisher, a wanter, a writer, a runner, a reader, a wrecker. A poet, a loner, a socialite, a stopper, an artist, a person, an acrobat, a rapper. A laugher, a cryer, a watcher, a wonder, a walker, a loser, a fearer, a thinker. I am an explorer of the world.
I'm not sure I can tell you anything that would make you feel any better. I'm not one for comforting words.
ReplyDeleteWhat I can say is that closure is a myth. Nothing is ever really closed, the hurt just gets stitched up and you think about it less over time. I agree, you need to sleep without drugs. I've found that there's not much better a thing than healthy, natural sleep. I get so little of it, I know its value.
As for cutting, I've never had the urge, don't understand it at all. All I can say is that this depression you're internalizing and turning back on yourself will kill you slowly. You know I know this. Let something be your outlet, get rid of the self destruction, find passion in words or music or even physical activity. Use your body to destroy the little demon bastards in your head, don't let them make you destroy yourself.